Sex/Sexiness in YA books

"Whenever I hear someone talking about how it's wrong to have sex and sexiness in YA novels, what I actually hear is this:

I'm terrified that the first fictional sex a teenage girl encounters might leave her feeling good about herself. I'm terrified that fictional sex might actually make a teenage girls think sex can be fun and good, that reading about girls who say no and boys who listen when they say it might give them the confidence to say no, too - or worse still, to realize that boys who don't listen to 'no' aren't worth it. I'm terrified that YA novels might teach teenage girls the distinction between assault and consensual sex, and give them the courage to speak out about the former while actively seeking the latter. I'm terrified that teenage girls might think seriously about circumstances under which they might say yes to sex; that they might think about contraception before they need it, and touch themselves in bed at night while fantasising about generous, interesting, beautiful lovers who treat them with consideration and respect. I'm terrified of a generation of teenage girls who aren't shy or squeamish about asking for cunnilingus when they want it, or about loving more than one person at once, and who don't feel shame about their arousal. I'm terrified that teenage girls might take control of their sexuality and, in so doing, take that control of them and tier bodies away from me. "

-Why YA Sex Scenes Matter by Foz Meadows 

This was an interesting subject that I've come across, sex and YA. Now I know there are many parents out there who would oppose this but personally I think having sex or sexiness in a YA book is good. The reason I think this would be a great example for teens and a younger crowd is because it would help lead by example by the many differences that a parents or a sex ed teacher may have not talked about. There are even parents who don't talk about it at all and that's where mistakes can happen for children. Like the quote says it can help the kids learn to differentiate between assault and consensual  It would teach kids that its ok to say no and that if the other partner cares they would understand their choice.

On top of that I think there is a time for everything and if the child is old enough to be in sex ed class they are old enough to read YA novels that may have sex scenes or a bit of sexiness in it. There is so much outward influence, like peers and watching thinks like teen mom that make kids feel pressured and if they were to read a book that has the main character wait for the right time or at least makes good choices in it regarding sex it would help that kid.

In the future when I have children of my own, I would allow them to read books that have sexiness and sex in it. Under the restriction of having read the book myself that way I see there is a good message in the story itself. The child would have to be of course age appropriate meaning it would be around the time they have sex ed classes. I don't think not talking to kids about this would cause bigger problems if they are informed properly then read these types of books it may benefit the child.

Just a thought.