Writing With Depression
Broken
Skies,
from the first word to publication-ready, took me eight months to
write, polish, and revise. And that was after taking two months off
from working on it and having to entirely rip down the first draft
and essentially re-write it nearly from scratch.
It
took me fifteen months to write a beta reader ready first draft of
Fractured
Suns.
The first sixty-five thousand words or so were written in the two
months after the original publication of Broken Skies, meaning the
majority of those fifteen months were spent on the last third
of
the book.
Why
did Fractured
Suns
take me so much longer to write than Broken
Skies?
Due to some major events in my personal life, I was (and still am)
suffering from depression.
Depression
is more than feeling down or sad all the time. It starts with that,
but then an invasive sense of apathy sets in and that is the worst
part of it, when you feel nothing at all. (If you’re interested in
a spot on explanation and description of suffering from depression,
you should check out Allie Brosh’s posts on her blog Hyperbole and
a Half: Part
One and Part
Two)
Yes,
I published some other works in that fifteen month time frame (three
short stories and two novellas). The majority of them were written
before the major depression hit and it wasn’t until I was running
up against the deadline for my Z
Chronicles
short story that everything started coming apart again. I almost
backed out of that anthology. But then Sarah’s story came to me and
I knew she was a character I could write—an anguished mother who
was slowly falling apart (in her case, literally).
So,
at the very height of my depression, I wrote the first line of Six
Days:
"There isn’t much left of me."
And,
at the time, there really wasn’t. Not for my character, Sarah, and
not for me.
Writing
that story was a turning point for me. I switched from a medication
that wasn’t working to one that does. I started being more open
with the people in my life about how I was feeling and I went to
therapy. They were small steps forward, but they were necessary and
they got me to the finish line on Fractured
Suns.
My
life’s still not where it was and the circumstances that led to my
depression have not been resolved, but there is light at the end of
the tunnel now and I’m hoping to get back into a more regular
writing routine so that other projects that have been delayed (cough,
cough, Bright Beyond) can
be completed.
So,
I guess my point in telling you all this is that I hate that it took
me so long to get Fractured
Suns
to those of you who’ve been waiting (hence the dedication) and I
hope you enjoy it. And to those who’ve been waiting for Episode
Three of Bright Beyond: it’s coming along and I hope to have it out
very soon.
Fractured Suns by Theresa Kay
(Broken Skies #2)Publication date: September 18th 2015
Genres: Post-Apocalyptic, Young Adult
We came in peace. Lie.
We had no role in the Collapse. Lie.
I have always been honest. Lie.
I never lied to her. Truth.
We had no role in the Collapse. Lie.
I have always been honest. Lie.
I never lied to her. Truth.
Reunited with her brother, and surrounded by Flint, Peter and her new-found grandfather, Jax Mitchell has still never felt more alone. The choice to follow Rym back to the city to find answers and see Lir is an easy one, but their reunion is cut short and Jax is forced to leave Lir behind. She finds herself traveling with some unexpected companions and heading back toward a place she’d hoped to never see again.
After being imprisoned—and tortured—on the orders of his uncle, Lir hasn’t seen daylight or linked to anyone in weeks. After a lifetime of connection, the pain and loneliness is almost too much to bear. Elated that Jax actually came, Lir finds renewed hope and strength to continue fighting his uncle’s influence over the E’rikon, even when things look hopeless and Lir’s been branded a traitor by the very people he’s trying to save.
While Jax and Lir fight separate battles, their missions have more in common than they realize. It’s a race against time to stop men driven only by greed and power. But the people they trust the most might be the very people working against them—and “family” doesn’t mean what it used to. Will they recognize their friends from their enemies in time to save the people they love or will they lose each other in the process?
Excerpt:
“Very
well then,” says Jastren, his eyes narrowed.
“No!”
I shoot up out of the chair as the protest leaves my lips. I don’t
know who looks more shocked: Jastren or Stu. “There’s been enough
death,” I say. “There doesn’t need to be any more.” That
argument brings raised eyebrows from both of them. “Besides, I… I
made an agreement.”
“Jasmine…”
The chiding in Jastern’s tone only feeds my determination.
“I
agreed to help. I—”
“You
agreed in exchange for information you do not need. Why would you
want to assist these creatures? Did they not lock you up? Threaten to
sell you?”
“They
were doing what they needed to do to survive!” The second the words
are past my lips, I find Peter’s gaze. He said almost the same
thing to me yesterday, but I didn’t really understand what he meant
until this moment. The world has fallen apart, and everyone’s doing
what’s necessary to stay alive, but what’s living without
something to hope for? It’s clear to me that Stu’s hope, his
reason for living, was his little brother—the one I took from him.
It’s not Lenny, who was probably already jaded long before now, but
Stu whom I owe for Zach’s death.
Yet
as much as my internal argument is convincing me
that I’m right, it’s Jastren who needs the convincing. I take a
deep breath. “If our only focus is survival, then we’re no better
than them. Without compassion—without forgiveness—we’re nothing
but animals.”
“Perhaps
that is the way with humans, but the E’rikon way does not allow for
such weaknesses.”
Jastren draws the last word out in a hiss and leans closer to me.
Stupid,
insolent girl!
The words slam into me, the first clear broadcast I’ve ever gotten
from Jastren, and I recoil.
“Then
maybe I don’t want to be
E’rikon!” My words pulse with anger. I shove past Jastren and out
the back door.
Author Bio:
The only person she knows who had a subscription to Writer's Digest at eleven and was always excited to write research papers, Theresa has been putting words to paper since a young age. Living in the mountains of central Virginia with her husband and two kids, she works as a paralegal by day, binges on Netflix at night and finds bits of time in between reading almost everything she can get her hands on and laundry to craft stories that tend to feature broken characters in sci-fi or paranormal worlds, with a touch of romance thrown in for good measure.
She's constantly lost in one fictional universe or another and is a self-proclaimed "fangirl" who loves being sucked in to new books or TV shows. Theresa originally wanted to write horror novels as an ode to her childhood passion for Stephen King novels, but between her internal Muse's ramblings and the constant praise for her sci-fi pieces from her writer's group - The Rebel Writers - she knew she should stick with what was working.
She's constantly lost in one fictional universe or another and is a self-proclaimed "fangirl" who loves being sucked in to new books or TV shows. Theresa originally wanted to write horror novels as an ode to her childhood passion for Stephen King novels, but between her internal Muse's ramblings and the constant praise for her sci-fi pieces from her writer's group - The Rebel Writers - she knew she should stick with what was working.
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