Reflecting on Meredith: The Character We Love to Hate
If
you’ve read the first two books of the Here and Now series, you
probably have some opinions about Meredith. You might have some
choice words for her as well. I know I do. When I first started
writing about her, I said, “Some people are just horrible.” But
even horrible people have their reasons—valid or not.
When
I first “met” Meredith while writing Wish
I May (William
and Cally’s book), I didn’t like her. At.
All.
When I realized what roll she played in Hanna’s books, I liked her
even less. You see, in my mind, Meredith is very much like this girl
I grew up with, let’s call her…Emily* (*name changed to protect
the not-so-innocent). “Emily” was horrible to me, and I never
understood why. She was wealthy and “popular” (a misnomer, in my
opinion, as the “popular” group was always a rather small
percentage of my school). I was from a struggling middle-class family
and a bank geek. She was blonde and thin and wore the nicest clothes.
I was mousy and overweight and wore my big sisters’ hand-me-downs.
I never understood why she seemed to hate me so much.
I
went to school with Emily from grade school through high school
graduation, though we were in very few classes together since I was
in the advanced or “academically talented” classes. But she was
around just enough to make a mark on me. If I already had issues
about my changing body, Emily made them worse by mocking me when we
changed in the gym locker room. If I felt awkward and unwelcome in
social settings, Emily made it worse by tripping me in the bleachers
at the Homecoming game and laughing with her friends as I scrambled
to my feet. Emily was a total bitch.
As
a writer, of course, I look back and want to know what her motivation
was. Was I just an easy target? She could be Queen Bee of her little
group and show her power by making me feel small? Maybe. But I like
to think people are more complex than that.
I’ll
never forget the day we were meeting with advisors from a small
private college. Emily desperately wanted to go to this college. I’d
already been admitted and knew I’d be going under and academic
scholarship. Emily hadn’t been admitted and she raised her hand to
ask the advisors if they would be willing to take a writing sample
instead of basing her entry on SAT scores and grades. I remember it
so well. She said, “I can’t take tests, but I’m not
stupid.”
And then she turned and glared at me, and there was so much hatred in
her eyes I’ve never been able to forget it. You see, I had no idea
that she struggled with her grades or with taking tests. All I saw
was a pretty, rich girl who was mean to me. But I guess it was
common
knowledge that I was quite smart. I was in all the advanced classes,
praised for my work, and I’ve never had the problem with testing
that some students have. I liked reading and writing and
studying—something that may get you mocked in middle school but
gets you money when college rolls around. Never
would I have imagined that my success as a student
had
anything to do with how Emily treated me, but in that moment, I knew
it did. She resented me for being able to do what she could not.
As
I wrote All
for This, I
realized the same was true for Meredith. She isn’t “just a
bitch.” She had her reasons. Does that make what she’s done
right? Absolutely not. But it does remind me of Emily and that look
in her eyes when she said, “I’m
not stupid.” I
don’t hate “Emily” anymore. I hope she’s doing well and that
she is secure enough in herself these days that she doesn’t have to
humiliate others to feel okay about her own weaknesses.
On
a final note, I want to say this blog post is probably the most
personal one I’ve ever written. I don’t like to write this much
about myself—I prefer fiction, TVYM. But since this is for the
final book in Hanna’s series, it seems fitting. I’ve gotten so
many letters from readers who relate to Hanna and her self-esteem
issues, and I’ll admit, I do too. Luckily for me, I know all about
finding the guy (or guys
in
Hanna’s case), that teach you to feel comfortable in your own skin.
My wish for you is that, if you see yourself in Hanna, you can learn
for her mistakes. You are more beautiful than you know, and the
people who bring you down aren’t “right” about you. They’re
fighting their own demons. Smile and carry on. (Unless they trip you
in the bleachers in front of your whole high school. Then you have my
permission to start swinging…)
XOXO,
Lexi
2) ALL FOR THIS will be $2.99 on release day and $3.99 thereafter.
All For This by Lexi Ryan
(Here and Now Book 3)Released August 4, 2014
What if you would
never remember the day you made the most important decision of your life?
That’s what
they’re telling me about the day of my accident—the day I put on Max’s ring and
chose him over Nate. I’m counting on the wisdom behind a decision I don’t
remember making.
But what does
my future hold if those answers aren’t anything like I imagined?
* * ALL FOR THIS is book three in the Here and Now series. It is not a stand-alone and it’s intended to be read after LOST IN ME and FALL TO YOU. * *
Review:
"I'm a collection of mismatched puzzle pieces, and all I want to feel is whole."
If you've read my previous reviews then you know how much I love this book and this overall trilogy as a whole. There is loads of drama, steaminess, and mystery over what really happened the day of the accident who and who she choose that keep the readers wanting more. Trust me when I say that this is one of those books that you'll want to free a couple of hours because you won't want to stop. I thought that that was a fantastic ending and sad to see its over. Luckily, there will be other books of characters from this book so I'll be sure to see what's in store for the other characters.
I highly recommend you lovely readers to check out this great trilogy! 5 of 5 stars!
**SPOILER ALERT!** The following excerpt from ALL FOR THIS by its very nature contains spoilers for the first two books in the Here and Now series, LOST IN ME and FALL TO YOU. If you hate spoilers and haven’t read the first two books, don’t read any further.
***
Hanna
“Where’s Hanna?” I know the voice, and an unwelcome thrill dances up my spine as Nate pushes into my kitchen and stalks toward me.
“Customers aren’t allowed back here,” Liz says behind him.
“Don’t do it,” he says, and those dark, broody eyes are all over me like he’s trying to take me in, memorize me.
I take a deep breath and look to my sister. “You should probably go.” Then I turn to Nate. “Don’t do what?”
“Um…” Liz looks Nate up and down. “Are you sure? Because I can stay to protect you. Or…try.” God bless her, she’s standing behind Nate with her hands on her hips, ready to swing on my behalf.
“Why don’t you give us a minute?”
She narrows her eyes at Nate. “Hurt her and I’ll cut off your balls in your sleep.” Then she pushes out of the kitchen, the door swinging wildly behind her.
“Don’t move in with him,” Nate says.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“I thought you said you weren’t moving forward with Max until after the babies were born. Don’t you think moving in is moving forward?”
“I don’t know where you get your information, but I’m not moving in with him.”
“You’re not?”
I shake my head. “He asked me to, and I said no.”
He must have been expecting a fight, because his shoulders relax and he drags a hand through his hair. “Thank you.”
I toss my washcloth into the sink. “Is that all?”
“No.” He lifts his eyes to mine. “I need to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For this.”
In two long strides, he closes the space between us and presses his mouth to mine. His lips are hot and hungry as his tongue sweeps inside—coaxing and demanding all at once. And it’s so good. So sweet and easy and safe that, for a breath, I forget how wrong it is. I’m back in the hotel in St. Louis, finding myself in the fire between us. For a breath, I forget that I’m wearing Max’s ring.
I shove at his shoulder and push him away. “Don’t do that again.” My stomach squeezes, and my heart is so battered and beaten that it’s unrecognizable.
***
Nate
Her eyes flash with anger, disappointment, and heat. “Do you think you can win me with a kiss? Did you think I’m so fickle that your mouth on mine is enough to convince me to break Max’s heart?”
I step forward, blocking her between me and the counter as I lower my mouth to her ear. “I thought maybe you needed a reminder.”
“What do you want from me? You want me to admit that I want you? You know I do. You want me to tell you I’m still in love with you? It’s true.”
My heart swells and hammers at her words. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel worthy of Hanna’s love, but that doesn’t change that I want it, need it like I need air.
“Isn’t that enough? Is it like this with him? When he’s whispering in your ear, does your body hum with need? We both know I could kiss you again and make you forget him. I could kiss you until you wanted me so badly you climbed onto that counter and let me touch you everywhere, let me do anything I wanted with your body.”
“You won’t,” she says, her voice shaking slightly.
“Are you so sure?”
“You won’t,” she repeats, “because I’m asking you not to. You won’t because you’re too good not to respect that.”
“I don’t want to be good,” I growl. I step back so I can see her face—her parted lips, her smoky eyes. “I want you.”
“I’m taken.”
“What happened?” I ask, scanning her face, trying to read her shielding expression. “Between when I left LA and when I came back to New Hope, what happened to make you take him back?”
She’s silent for a minute, and I wonder if she’s going to tell me the truth. “I found out he bought me the bakery—that all my worries and insecurities about our relationship were totally unfounded.”
“I’ll buy you a hundred bakeries.”
“But I don’t want a hundred bakeries. I only want this one.”
Here. In New Hope. I close my eyes because I can’t deny that geography still stands between us.
“Please don’t kiss me again.”
“What if you ask me to?”
She swallows. “I won’t ask.”
“Where’s Hanna?” I know the voice, and an unwelcome thrill dances up my spine as Nate pushes into my kitchen and stalks toward me.
“Customers aren’t allowed back here,” Liz says behind him.
“Don’t do it,” he says, and those dark, broody eyes are all over me like he’s trying to take me in, memorize me.
I take a deep breath and look to my sister. “You should probably go.” Then I turn to Nate. “Don’t do what?”
“Um…” Liz looks Nate up and down. “Are you sure? Because I can stay to protect you. Or…try.” God bless her, she’s standing behind Nate with her hands on her hips, ready to swing on my behalf.
“Why don’t you give us a minute?”
She narrows her eyes at Nate. “Hurt her and I’ll cut off your balls in your sleep.” Then she pushes out of the kitchen, the door swinging wildly behind her.
“Don’t move in with him,” Nate says.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“I thought you said you weren’t moving forward with Max until after the babies were born. Don’t you think moving in is moving forward?”
“I don’t know where you get your information, but I’m not moving in with him.”
“You’re not?”
I shake my head. “He asked me to, and I said no.”
He must have been expecting a fight, because his shoulders relax and he drags a hand through his hair. “Thank you.”
I toss my washcloth into the sink. “Is that all?”
“No.” He lifts his eyes to mine. “I need to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For this.”
In two long strides, he closes the space between us and presses his mouth to mine. His lips are hot and hungry as his tongue sweeps inside—coaxing and demanding all at once. And it’s so good. So sweet and easy and safe that, for a breath, I forget how wrong it is. I’m back in the hotel in St. Louis, finding myself in the fire between us. For a breath, I forget that I’m wearing Max’s ring.
I shove at his shoulder and push him away. “Don’t do that again.” My stomach squeezes, and my heart is so battered and beaten that it’s unrecognizable.
***
Nate
Her eyes flash with anger, disappointment, and heat. “Do you think you can win me with a kiss? Did you think I’m so fickle that your mouth on mine is enough to convince me to break Max’s heart?”
I step forward, blocking her between me and the counter as I lower my mouth to her ear. “I thought maybe you needed a reminder.”
“What do you want from me? You want me to admit that I want you? You know I do. You want me to tell you I’m still in love with you? It’s true.”
My heart swells and hammers at her words. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel worthy of Hanna’s love, but that doesn’t change that I want it, need it like I need air.
“Isn’t that enough? Is it like this with him? When he’s whispering in your ear, does your body hum with need? We both know I could kiss you again and make you forget him. I could kiss you until you wanted me so badly you climbed onto that counter and let me touch you everywhere, let me do anything I wanted with your body.”
“You won’t,” she says, her voice shaking slightly.
“Are you so sure?”
“You won’t,” she repeats, “because I’m asking you not to. You won’t because you’re too good not to respect that.”
“I don’t want to be good,” I growl. I step back so I can see her face—her parted lips, her smoky eyes. “I want you.”
“I’m taken.”
“What happened?” I ask, scanning her face, trying to read her shielding expression. “Between when I left LA and when I came back to New Hope, what happened to make you take him back?”
She’s silent for a minute, and I wonder if she’s going to tell me the truth. “I found out he bought me the bakery—that all my worries and insecurities about our relationship were totally unfounded.”
“I’ll buy you a hundred bakeries.”
“But I don’t want a hundred bakeries. I only want this one.”
Here. In New Hope. I close my eyes because I can’t deny that geography still stands between us.
“Please don’t kiss me again.”
“What if you ask me to?”
She swallows. “I won’t ask.”
Review:
Wow this book was
better then what I had expected. I thought it was going to be cheesy
and it wasn't at all. I loved the characters. The story line was
interesting. This book was well written. It was full of suspense, I
kept wondering what was going to happen when her memories come back.
I had my guesses but none of it turned out to be true to this book. I
loved that this book wasn't predictable I especially surprised
towards the ending and with an ending like that its no surprise that
I want to get my hands on the next book to see what happen next. I
highly recommend you lovely readers check out this book! 5 of 5
stars!
Review:
Hannah has lost her memory from the recent past and is slowly gaining it back. Slowly she is regaining her memory as well as being torn between two guys from before the accident. Finding a way to know who she truly loves and wants to be with is the hard part.
See what I loved
about this book is that there is a back flash to what has happened in
the past to make the readers want to know more and who to choose for
Hannah. I loved that there was so much drama and steaminess and
surprises to keep the readers guessing. Just when you think she's
made up her mind you get thrown off. I loved that there was three
point of views. So it really helped me enjoy the characters that much
more to see their intentions and what was going on in their own
personal view. What I loved about Hannah's character was that she is
a relatable women who is going through body issues but slowly learned
to overcome them. I loved that she is a women who knows what she
wants and will work on getting it. Oh and I loved the way the book
ends, so as a warning its kinda of a cliffhanger.
So I pretty much
loved everything about this book and really think you readers should
put this on your TBR list. Bump it to the top because this book is
that good, but I highly suggest you read the previous book to this.
The books in this trilogy is not a stand alone so read them in order.
5 of 5 stars!
Once a college English professor, I now write full
time. I live in rural Indiana, where, when I’m not writing, I get to hang out
with my husband and two kids–a six-year-old boy and a two-year-old hellion, er,
girl. Not surprisingly, reading and writing remain my favorite activities,
though both come in bits and pieces these days, not the big hunks of time I
enjoyed before I had children. When I’m feeling virtuous, I like to go running
(I use that word liberally. I’m really, really slow) or do yoga. Don’t worry,
I’m always careful to balance out such activities with a hearty serving of ice
cream or a chocolate martini.
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