The First Man by Alex Kelly
Genre: Contemporary, Romance, MMRomance, LGBT,
Goodreads: Click
Purchase Link: Amazon | Walmart eBooks
Pages: 542
Published: February 25th 2021
Shane
Do you want to know what it means to live like me?
It means being forced not to look at him, not to touch him, not to be left alone in the same room as him.
Not to seek him out. Not to want him.
Not to love him.
Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?
I’ll tell you how it feels.
It feels as if you’re living in constant torment: you know which path you should follow, but you also know that, if you follow that path, you can never turn back.
And I can’t do that to him.
Every day I come back, because I know that he’s waiting for me.
Every day I promise him that he will never have to live without me.
Andy
Do you know what it means to live like me?
It means being forced not to touch him, not to kiss him, not to be able to leave the room while he’s still in it.
Not to breathe him in, not to lust after him.
Not to love him.
Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love the only person you’re not allowed to love?
I’ll tell you how it works.
You can’t seem to feel anything other than him; when you walk away, you know that you’re turning your back on the only thing that’s good in your life.
Yet you still walk away.
Every day I leave, knowing that he will be standing there, watching.
Every day I ask him to promise me that I will never have to live without him.
Do you want to know what it means to live like me?
It means being forced not to look at him, not to touch him, not to be left alone in the same room as him.
Not to seek him out. Not to want him.
Not to love him.
Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?
I’ll tell you how it feels.
It feels as if you’re living in constant torment: you know which path you should follow, but you also know that, if you follow that path, you can never turn back.
And I can’t do that to him.
Every day I come back, because I know that he’s waiting for me.
Every day I promise him that he will never have to live without me.
Andy
Do you know what it means to live like me?
It means being forced not to touch him, not to kiss him, not to be able to leave the room while he’s still in it.
Not to breathe him in, not to lust after him.
Not to love him.
Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love the only person you’re not allowed to love?
I’ll tell you how it works.
You can’t seem to feel anything other than him; when you walk away, you know that you’re turning your back on the only thing that’s good in your life.
Yet you still walk away.
Every day I leave, knowing that he will be standing there, watching.
Every day I ask him to promise me that I will never have to live without him.
Shane and Andy has a history of attraction but since Andy is younger and Shane's best friends little brother its been a clear no for eachother. But now its harder to fight this attraction and since this is a close knit town its hard they was worried those around them aren't open to the idea of them being out.
You know what I just realized this is the perfect time to read this LGBT book since its Pride month. I loved seeing that attraction between the two. I love the whole forbidden romance kinda thing which was kinda how it was since its his best friends little brother theres kinda a line that forms that you don't really do that. It was even tougher since they Shane knew Andy while he was young and they are gay so its the worry and confusion of what people will say and do. I loved seeing the romance, and getting to know the characters. I loved that there was the back and forth between the past of how things were and how they are now. Theres plenty to enjoy about this book and highly reocmmend.
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